


Wrap Me Up in Your Love

by lover_of_blue_roses



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Crying, Emotions, F/M, POV First Person, bordering on hysteria, honestly brian found someone as emotionally angst as himself, overly emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22739344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_blue_roses/pseuds/lover_of_blue_roses
Summary: Sometimes love can be so overwhelming that a crying fit is really the best way to feel better, and maybe a hug from your boyfriend.
Relationships: brian may/reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Wrap Me Up in Your Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CaptainKupala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainKupala/gifts).



> Prompt: Wedding, Ridge Farm, Comfort

I can hear the shouting through the thin, shitty, farmhouse walls and the desire to hide is overwhelming. I'm already locked away in Brian's bedroom but the room just feels so -large, unsafe- I want to crawl under the bed or hide in the closet, where I can feel tucked up, surrounded and free from their fighting.

Something's been wrong all day, Roger wouldn't stop fighting and shouting, from what I can hear it's something about his song. I wish I didn't know from previous experience that him taking it out on his band wouldn't have them giving in to his shitty behavior but for all of his valuable input, determination and hell even the personal friendship they all share, they are willing to put up with it.

I just wish I didn't have to be listening to it. I'm bad with confrontation and he's clearly picked Brian's girlfriend has his next point of contention. The rest of the boys had left their girlfriends and wife back in the city, but I had been willing to take many buses and one cabby to be brought to this fuck all nowhere just to spend five days with my boyfriend before leaving him to continue finishing the album. It wasn't even that long but some of the boys felt a little unease about me being here. I don't even know if its because they see me as a distraction, or if it's because they feel guilty for not inviting their loves, or guilty for not feeling guilty.

Which is why I can find no comfort or solace in anyone else and must instead hide away here as Roger continues to shred into Brian, who at least for his credit is doing his best to defend me, although at a much quieter volume that I can not actually be comforted by his words. In Roger's tyrade, one thing does stand out, and astonishingly it's a positive, "You'll spend the rest of your life with her, what will another few weeks matter."

'The rest of your life,' oh my. That's- Well, then. Is Brian thinking of proposing? The idea is delightful, I literally cover my mouth as I can feel myself grin from ear to ear. I am of course ecstatic but filled with restless, overwhelming energy and emotions make me want to stow away more than anything. I just- 

The closet was emptied for Brian's use and he had filled it up with his meger belongings, nothing fancy, just comfortable, practical clothing, although much to the boys chagrin, nothing actually so practical as to play tennis in. There's enough empty space for me to sit and then some but the bed is too low on the ground for me to tuck myself away there, so I grab the duvet, folded at the end of the bed as we didn't need it for this unusual warm summer and bundle myself up. The closet smells musty and faintly of mothballs but it suits my purposes delightfully.

I close the door and let the muffled noises and dark lighting calm me from being overwhelmed. My hands are clutching the blanket tightly across my chest and I stare at my fingers. A wedding ring goes on the right hand? I don't even know, I haven't even really thought about it that much, very much part of the new generation that tended to see marriage as an institution and that it could wait a little until I was more settled, I see how Deaky and Ronnie were coping to deal. I think I heard somewhere that the engagement ring goes on the left and wedding on the right. 

I wonder what might the ring be like, as he's an only child I can imagine it being an heirloom. I could always get the gem reset if it was terribly old fashion but I think I might like that, to know that I am continuing to carry on a May tradition. Although it's possible his origins are as humble as mine and there is no such treasure to inherit. I also can't imagine he'd buy me a new ring, or at least certainly not a diamond one. He's broke, hell I'm broke and so was the rest of the band- they were betting it all on this album after they had gouged themselves to be free of their terrible, no good, contract. 

But I'm getting so ahead of myself, it's just Roger, his closest and bestest friend, saying -assuming unquestioningly- that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. I simply can't cope as I begin to cry, tears run out of my eyes and nose. God, I must make such an attractive sight and my eyes are gonna get all red and puffy, everyone who sees me will know I've been crying. 

Fuck, now I have to considered if I want to leave my warm, dark cocoon for a tissue. I can't very well just sit here with a dripping nose so I have no choice. I take the whole box from the dresser and that brief moment I am out of the closet I here that the arguing has stopped or at least moved to where I can no longer hear it. This should make me feel better, or at least able to leave the closest but honestly I feel no less overwhelmed. If anything I unfortunately grow more so, tumultuous emotions stirring inside of me as I settle back down in the closet. 

Now that the idea has been put into my head, I feel crushed under the very real possibility it will not happen. Relationships continue in two ways, either we break up or we get married. (Or one of us dies.) I want Brian, who doesn't, but that's very much the problem. I understand that when he is touring and must be away from me for literal months that I can not demand his loyalty, well I can but then I'll end up just as miserable as Mary when he 'cheats,' it's much easier to give permission before. But what if one day, I am not enough? Compare to the high of touring before crowds of thousands and whatever else the boys do for fun, what if he sees me for what little I really have to offer.

And if this next album is a success, even more people will know him. I only got to know him from his band even if back then Queen was only peddling their demo, desperate for a label, so how can I claim to be any better than those other groupies just because Brian spent enough time for us to get to know each other. There's bound to be someone out there, prettier, better than me. And if Brian remains on his trajectory of fame, even after he and I break up, I will undoubtedly hear in the papers if he gets married. 

All this potential for happiness is clearly a double edge sword. Him proposing to me, would make me the happiest girl in the world, I would be ecstatic, I can still feel that emotion bubbling deep inside of me. We'd live together, I could greet him home when he returned with a kiss and love, even maybe children. If he stays out of his head long enough, he could be a great father, although Ronnie is proving to me how complicated it will be with them touring. Still we could make it work, I believe in us and in our love.

But as wonderful as this could all be, that's why it could all be terrible. I try to get myself to stop dwelling on the very real possibility that Brian could break up with me, I have thought on it long enough as I dab at my wet eyes, I can feel the salt sticking my lashes together. Discarding the soaked tissue I see my hand of which only the edges are outlined in the dim light of the closed closet. It's just a trick of the light but I suddenly see a skeletal hand.

Even if we love each other till our dying breath, there is no guarantee that won't be soon. Brian's health scare was terrifying but if we were married and have lived as husband and wife for many years; if I was a grieving widow with his children to raise, they'd look like him they'd have his nose although hopefully not such difficult curls, I think that kind of pressure would break me. I look up at the hanger bar and know that it would both be too low to the ground and not strong enough to carry my weight.

As their arguing had seemingly ended, Brian came back up to his room and I did my best to quiet down my sobs, biting down onto my hand. He's not even sick anymore, he hasn't proposed, he isn't leaving me, why am I being like this? I hear his gait slow down and stop when he finds I am not where he left me, Ridge farm is huge, I could be anywhere from the pool to the tennis court to get away. He falters and I'm pretty sure he's going to turn away to look for me elsewhere, which I think is what I want. I'm pretty sure it's not what I actually want it's just that in the past when such a thing happened with my family, I was not comforted when found crying. Rather I was called a crybaby and told I was crying for no reason. It's true enough, I'm a very sensitive soul and I cry often even when I'm only raging and angry and hate crying because it only makes me and my point look weaker. 

Still, why am I dating Brian if I don't trust him? I rap my nails gently against the wood and Brian opens the closet door completely, stinging my eyes with the harsh light of day. "Not you too," he sighs, already exhausted with the day despite it being early still. "Come on, what are you doing?" he asks as he hauls me out by my arm. I weigh much less than ten stones so it's easy for him to drag me out even though he's little more than flesh and bone himself. 

I'm a bit like a cat and feel rather ruffled at being so disrupted even if he was just doing it to wrap me up in a hug. His height makes it so he can rest his chin on my head, enveloping me into his person even if my breasts uncomfortably squish against his chest. "You want to tell me what this is all about?"

He sounds very tired and frustrated, clearly his fight with Roger didn't go very well and I shouldn't burden him with more, it's so silly and trivial. "It's nothing I guess," I shrug. I wonder if I should say anything, he hates how I shut down whenever there is conflict but it's clear by how he tries to get me to look at him, leaning back out of the hug tragically early and trying to angle my face to get me to look at him. I refuse eye contact because I only know it will make me cry again, "I just love you alot." 

He sighs again. I can't tell if I'm just projecting my strong emotions but he sounds disappointed in me and my behavior. I try to defend myself, at least a little, "I know you and Roger can be such good friends and how much this bands means to you, so it's difficult to hear you argue."

Brian stills, he must not have realised I could hear them. "I'm sorry for the things that Roger said about you, you must know that they aren't true," Oh if only he knew how much I prayed his 'the rest of your life' had been true. "I'll have him apologize when he gets out."

"Out?"

Brian huffs, clearly nearing the end of his wits. I can easily imagine him as a grumbly father finding out his son drew on the walls and it makes me giggle wetly as I swipe at my face. "He's locked himself in the tape closet."

I blink as I try to remember the layout of their studio space, I haven't been spending much time over there as I understand I am not wanted, which is fair enough. I scrunch up my face as I finally look up at him, "Where the masters are stored?"

"Yeah," he was waiting for me to look up to weave a hand through the strains of my hair and press a soft kiss to my now salty lips. "We can't record anything until he concede to his wishes."

"Are they unreasonable?" I'm not much of a problem-solver but solving problems does tend to help me avoid conflict, my actual goal. 

"Are you even listening to me?" He asks as he nuzzles his nose against my cheek as his other hand slides down my back to slide over my trousers.

"Mmmm, what were you saying?" I say half-jokingly, unsure of what I am suppose to have heard.

"I was saying we can't record for the foreseeable future."

"Mmm," he's pressing kisses to the underside of my jaw now with his wicked teeth. "Oh- Oh! So you're free? Have nothing to do?"

He leers down at me with heat and all my fears are forgotten for the moment, "I wouldn't say nothing."


End file.
